Campfire Rocks

The learning opportunity

Support and agency change as children grow. Discuss how a dependable adult can give clear guidance while making room for questions and increasing responsibility. Use a fictional everyday choice to explore what help and information a learner needs.

Learning goal

Students will explore the roles of trust, safety, and independence in growing up, and reflect on how they begin to make decisions for themselves over time.

Competencies: Self-Awareness, Self-Management, Relationship Skills, Responsible Decision-Making

Scott’s story

When I was a young father, I had two daughters: Maegan, age eight, and Laurel, age four. We had just bought a piece of land out on a dirt road in the Black Hills, surrounded by woods. We were thrilled to be building a house out there, and one of the things we looked forward to most was having campfires together.

One afternoon, we went out to the land to choose a good spot for a fire pit. We found a dry creek bed full of smooth brown stones, and I told my girls, "Let's find some good rocks to make a ring for the campfire."

As we searched, Laurel, my four-year-old, took the task very seriously. Every time she dug up a little rock, she brought it over with a worried look and asked, "Daddy, is this one going to work? Is this one okay?" Each time, I reassured her, "Yes, that one is just right."

She kept doing this over and over. I eventually realized that in her mind, some rocks were good and some weren't—and that she truly believed I knew which was which. To her, I had the answers. I could help her decide what was right and wrong, good and bad.

The truth is, just about any of those rocks would have worked fine. There wasn't really a science to it. But I also realized that at age four, it was comforting for Laurel to believe that someone—her dad—knew what the right answers were. That belief gave her a sense of safety and order.

As adults, we know the world isn't always so clear. We’re not always right. But when children are young, it matters that they trust the people who care for them. That trust helps them feel secure. And as they grow up, it's just as important for them to learn that no one has all the answers—and that they, too, will have to do the work of figuring things out.

Step 2: Lesson Plan – "Trust, Growth, and Learning to Choose"

Objective: Students will explore the roles of trust, safety, and independence in growing up, and reflect on how they begin to make decisions for themselves over time.

Part 1: Discussing the Story (10–15 mins)

Why did Laurel keep asking if her rocks were okay?

What did her dad do that helped her feel confident?

What does the story show about growing up and learning to make your own decisions?

Part 2: Growing Confidence (15–20 mins)

Group brainstorm: What kinds of things do you still rely on adults for?

Discussion: What are some decisions you feel confident making on your own now?

Part 3: Decision Roleplay or Art (20 mins)

Roleplay: In pairs, students take turns asking for help and giving guidance.

Art Option: Create a "Path of Growing Up" poster showing when we lean on others and when we start making our own choices.

Spark, shutdown and reflection

Journal Prompts:

A Spark: When did someone give you a helpful answer that made you feel safe or smart?

A Turning Point: When did you realize you could figure something out on your own?

What does it feel like to grow from needing help to trusting yourself?

Sharing Options:

Story circles

Sketching key moments

Write a note to a younger sibling or friend with advice for trusting themselves

Ask students: "Who do you go to when you need help? What helps you know when to ask—and when to trust your own thinking?"